sleepless in portland
It's 1:28am and I can't fall asleep for the life of me. I have had a fairly productive day today though, which is a nice feeling. Now if only the laundry would do itself and the unpacking would unpack itself. AH, life... I wonder if everyone asks themselves the same types of questions I've been asking myself. You'd think with all the advances of science I'd be able to find some sort of chemical altering pharmaceutical that would help me fall asleep, but no. Damn. Back to questions... I've been thinking about the whole postmodern movement and how I fit into it, if I fit into it. I've been reading some stuff on Neitsche and nihlism and wondering if there really is a world outside of individual perception. I'm not sure how I feel, but it makes me ask myself: does it really matter? Are we so ingrained with Socratic and Aristotlean logic that we must discover the Truth or variable truth experiences rather than revel in the nuances of an imperfect everyday life? I think back to my first blogging experience and recall that I wrote "theory motivates action." If this is true, then knowing about patterns of human behavior and the interconnevtivity of relationships would prove paramount to a greater understanding of our world. In the words of one of my favorite professors: "sitting around thinking and not doing anything with it is an adolescent form of mental masturbation." So, I believe that, if for no other reason than making our world better, that we must continue to study and question whether there is a "reality" outside of existence. Kind of a heavy question for late at night, but an important one. And it helps take my mind off of everything else.
the day after tomorrow
Today is my first foray into the new world of blogging. Since I'm a trend-whore I thought I should probably jump on the bandwagon. Life is hectic these days... grad school applications are due by Feb. 1st, the QRC appeals budget is due Tuesday, Elections Committee meets tomorrow to revise bylaws, Senate meets Friday (hopefully to approve said bylaws), and 20 credits might just kill me. I keep thinking about how involved I've gotten over the past few terms. In any sort of organizing activity, whether it be for social and economic justice or environmental stewardship or business relations, the possibility of burn-out is very real. I have finally moved past the burn-out phase (otherwise known as growing up) of my adolescence and moved into the activist phase of my young adult life. While I enjoy doing "the work," I also find it saddening and frightening that these are my last few months in Portland. And as much as I've bitched about it in the past, I have come to love the city full of dirty hippies and fellow trend-whore leftist activists. I am frightened mostly about what I'm going to be doing with my future. While not yet entirely resigned to failure in academic adventures, I'm entirely nervous and neurotic about being accepted into graduate school. I have come to realize that my place in the world is in academe, and that any action is driven by theory and study. Theory is the driving force of action, and if positive action for social and economic justice is to happen, then theory itself must be expanded. This is my role. I sit in the computer lab at 11pm and think about the whirlwind adventure my life has been thus far and am grateful. Too many influential names, places, and events to mention here, but all have formed my conscious experience and interpretation of life in some drastic and immeasurable way. So, with open arms and tired eyes, I welcome myself to this new world of blogging, and wonder.... do people actually read these things?
